The Price of Admission
The Price of Admission
As I go deeper into the topic of pleasure, it’s so clear to me how our defences keep the experience of pleasure at bay. In fact, I’d go out on a limb and say – pleasure is not possible while our defence is solidly in place.
We all have defences that were put in place originally to protect us from the vulnerable experiences and feelings of being human. No doubt they did serve a purpose way back when, but today, most likely those same reflexes of protection, get in your way, especially when it comes to pleasure.
Pleasure Requires Vulnerability
I’m sure you know what I’m talking about but let me spell it out. Pleasure requires a certain kind of vulnerability. I call it “the price of admission;” an openness to risk-taking, stepping out of your comfort zone; to be surprised, touched, affected by those around you, as well as, your environment. Habits, routines and ruts can be the death of pleasure. As an adult, you are so much more resourceful now to navigate the world.
In Pathwork, the spiritual framework I’ve personally used for 35 years we summarize the defences into three main categories – pride, self-will and fear. Pride keeps me separate by feeling superior to others, and above the just plain messiness of life. Self-will hopes that my control will keep me safe. It demands that life always goes to my liking – a sure fire way to block the flow of life. And fear – well, we can so easily scare ourselves into submission – never really venturing outside our comfort zone to discover the truth of ourselves, others and life.
Defences – the Antithesis of Pleasure
These three modes of defending are the antithesis of pleasure. Pleasure requires a softening of self-will, and it disarms your pride and your fear. It’s kind of a chicken and egg situation. Pleasure can help you let down your guard and the more you’re willing to be undefended, the more you can experience pleasure.
Pleasure, in fact can help you feel safe; it brings in more self-confidence and ease. It’s the organic exilir that allows you to dare to be more undefended. Pleasure enlivens us; the defences are in their essence a contracted state and sap vital life energy.
As part of your movement to Unlock Pleasure, I invite you to be more aware when your defence is up and when it’s softer. What do you notice; what feels different; what in particular triggers those defences and what is the story you tell yourself about what you need? I’d love to hear what you discover.
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“Madeline offers a safe space to explore what it is that blocks our capacity to live in pleasure. She supports us to recognize our unhealthy associations with pleasure, so we can finally open up to that which provides real power, serenity and love.”