The Rhythm of Expansion and Contraction in Unlocking Pleasure

Jan 26, 2018

The Rhythm of Expansion and Contraction in Unlocking Pleasure

Rhythm is a key element of pleasure. By this I mean attuning to your own internal rhythm, to let it guide your movement through the day. This rhythm is unique to each of us, but we all share participation in the rhythmic movement of expansion and contraction. This rhythm is all around us in the cycles of nature and even our own breath – inhaling we expand and exhaling we let go.

I was aware of this phenomenon recently in the phases of recovery from surgery. I was slated for hip joint replacement surgery the end of November. I prepared really well leading up to the event, and put a good plan in place for the six weeks of immediate recovery. The plan worked and the six weeks off were blissful.

The rhythm of expansion

The sense of expansion came from the loving care and support of an extended group of family and friends. Time off from work allowed me to deeply tune in to my needs for healing, which was primarily sleep, exercise, and enjoying the people around me. I look back at that first month as one of great expansion. I really took in the goodness of my life. This practice was very pleasurable.

Then those six weeks were over and the surgeon gave me the green light to go back to my regular life. That’s when things went off the rails. I had no plan or expectations of how to negotiate the transition. And so, the perhaps inevitable contraction hit. Not quite fully mobile, being back out in the world, the snow and cold to navigate, driving again, and my support people thinking I was doing great – which I was - went back to their own regular lives, and the let-down hit.

The signs of contraction

All the usual signs of contraction were there: a feeling of deflation, irritability, discouraged, and frustration. Once I named it as contraction, I could adjust my expectations and regroup. Supportive self-talk was useful, “It’s just a bit of a setback, no need for catastrophizing girl. Attune to the rhythm of now – go slower, cancel anything that isn’t necessary. Ask for some support.”

Again, I learned that change, healing, or movement forward is rarely a linear progression. Growth has its own rhythm of expansion and contraction. We try on the new, and then perhaps a slight retreat. Our energetic systems are adjusting to the new normal.

What to do?

Rule number one in a contracted state – “Don’t freak out!” It’s just a contraction. Don’t give it more energy than it needs – recognize it for what it is, accept it and relax into it. You might notice a counter current of forcing energy. It might express as – “I don’t want this. This shouldn’t be happening. I’ll try to force it to be different”. This doesn’t work, and in my experience, only intensifies the contraction.

Some might call this state of contraction resistance to change, but a more positive and perhaps realistic take is to consider there’s a rhythm to change. It’s not linear, but more spiral in its movement. That spiral movement takes flexibility. Looping into and back from the new state of being. Trying it on and retreating. All that matters is that you stay aware, and gently realign with your intention to move towards the desired goal.

Another element to consider is that the bigger the expansion, the bigger the pullback will be. If you’re hip to this, you won’t get too sucked in. Relax and ride the contraction. Don’t ignore it or give it too much attention and it will run its course.

There’s a Pathwork Lecture #235 that speaks to this phenomenon – The Anatomy of Contraction. If you’re interested in understanding more about the rhythm of expansion and contraction you can read it here at this link. https://pathwork.org/lectures/the-anatomy-of-contraction/

Have you noticed the spiral movement of change in your own life? I’d love to hear about your own experiences in this.

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