It’s been three years since I began the Unlock Pleasure project. Three years of writing this blog and of speaking and teaching about pleasure. I’ve learned a lot, and have especially benefited from the conversations and engagement with readers and participants at speaking engagements and in programs.
4 Things Stand Out
When I work with people on the topic of pleasure 4 things stand out.
• Intentionality – we all know the power of being intentional. Our conscious intentions can move mountains. But first it’s important to clear away any misconceptions about pleasure. We’re not aware of the stories and beliefs that are driving our pleasure bus. Making those faulty conclusions about pleasure conscious, and affirming an intentional shift is the first step.
• Discovering what pleasure means to you – we are each unique in what gives us pleasure. It’s connected to who we are - your true self can guide you. It’s a daring act to be faithful to your own path, when it comes to pleasure. It’s also an exploration – give yourself time and space to try things on. Some will be obvious and easy, and others will stretch you! Learn to enjoy the risks, the stretching out of old and overly comfortable modes. Savour the aliveness that comes with shapeshifting in to a new, truer you.
• Slow is fast and less is more – this is the key to pleasure. it’s a foundational requirement without which no shift will come. This is where discipline and intentionality really come into play. It goes against everything that comes at us from our culture about pleasure – more and more, faster and faster. But no – start to think the exact opposite and reap the rewards of ease, relaxation, flow, curiosity, groundedness, and increased creativity.
• Pleasure is an “in the body” experience – there are surely pleasure of the mind, but my bias says real pleasure comes in the sensory experience of being attuned to our bodies. This goes hand in hand with the slow is fast and less is more practice. My experience tells me in any and every moment, pleasure is possible when we can slow down and take in the world around us, as well as our inner response to that stimuli. This means developing an orientation towards our senses. Breathing, being aware of the ground under our feet, attuning to the sounds, scents, sights, touch and taste around us. Noticing how this all lands in our bodies, how our bodies respond. I call it a Pleasure Pause – hold this awareness for only 45 seconds and it’s the recipe to shift your neuro-pathways from anxiety and hyper-vigilance to ones of ease, curiosity, and creativity.
Try on these keys to pleasure and let me know what happens next. Make 2018 a year of beautiful risk taking and openings. Share your experience so we can learn and grow together.
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